Blog

First

Sometimes I feel like I have moments of intense emotion and admiration for the world we live in. Then it goes away, and there’s nothing left. In one of those fleeting moments, I watched a series of YouTube videos from a channel called Jubilee Project.

It was – I’m not ashamed to admit – a (very late) Saturday night, and I was lying in bed, laptop on my stomach, in a position that looks something like this:

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A sad but True comic. PC: B for Bel.

I began watching this video. I was touched by the insight everyone had to offer, regardless of his or her age. When the camera finally paneled to a beautiful older woman (67), her thoughtful eyes and honest expression couldn’t help but resonate with me. After being asked, “If you could be any age, what age would you be?” She responded, “That’s a difficult question… I was in a hurry to get through life. Consequently, many of those years are a blur.”

That was it. That was the moment I knew I never wanted to say those words. Everything we know revolves around our memories with other people. Without this… What are we? I don’t expect you, or anyone, to ever actually answer that question, but it’s interesting to think about it a little, right? Anyway, that’s sort of why I’m doing this. I’ve tried keeping a journal in the past, but I just wasn’t able to get into a consistent rhythm. I really don’t know what this’ll be, but that’s the ~fun of it~

Maybe this is an appropriate time to add a little bit about me. I am what they call a “Native New Yorker.” I was born two blocks away from my parents’ apartment, and I go to NYU… who knows if I’ll ever leave. I’m still figuring out what the heck it is I want to do with my life, even though everyone tells me that I “have so much time!” and I’m “so young!” That excuse worked nicely when I was 14, but nearing on 20 is horrifying and I am incredibly unprepared for all that life has to offer. Regardless, I guess I’d describe myself as a girl yet to find her calling. I’ll keep you updated.